By Tuvia Tenenbom
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Catch the Jew! recounts the adventures of Tuvia Tenenbom, who wanders round Israel of our time calling himself “Tobi the German.” during various interviews Tuvia extracts details, sentiments, hidden theories and delusional visions motivating the miscellany of peoples forming the present-day Holy Land.
Does Palestinian spouse no 1 hate the Jews greater than she hates spouse quantity ? Who does a tender German vacationer hate extra, her lifeless Nazi grandpa or the just-born Jewish child? Who funds cash-rich NGOs pursuing a Judenrein Israel? Who units Palestinian olive groves on fireplace and why? What do you notice from a Piper Cherokee above a Bedu camp? who're the flaming feminists who sacrifice their lives for the rights of polygamists? Whose land is that this, anyway?
In the process his seven-months trip Tobi the German discovers Syrian flags starting to be inside of apples, she-asses who was males, five-star refugee camps, flying prophets, cash-loving guardians of the bad, masturbating clergymen in everlasting love of Palestinians, human rights activists in everlasting hatred of Jews, cash-rich rabbis with no congregations, households starting to be in cemeteries – between many others.
Catch the Jew!, the main funny composition at the center East thus far, is a polyglot spin round a cultural miscegenation in a really small house. despite the fact that, its never-daunted writer reveals that with labneh, strudel, olive oil, apple pie, kebab, rugelach, hummus and schnitzel, a contented tummy can undergo us via even the main appalling concerns. other than the realization.
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He asks me if I’m a Muslim and I say that of course I am! Russian? He asks. No, German. His eyes light up. Welcome! Al-Aqsa, he says, is the silver building and the golden one is the Dome of the Rock. The rock under the dome, I now think of what the Jewish guide told us yesterday, is where the world started. I keep on going and walking, around the square and the surrounding areas. Looks like paradise here. Every few steps there’s a sign, in Arabic only, reminding believers that it’s forbidden to spit here.
Totally and absolutely 30 different, for the “show” I’m about to see is not a Broadway musical. The man speaks: “Everything was created from here. ” The biblical Garden of Eden is here, and it is here that the first human being, Adam, was roaming aimlessly until God made him fall asleep and created a woman out of one of his bones. And it is here that Adam and Eve walked around naked, made love all day and all night and started humanity. It is on this Holy Mountain that the sexual hormones started being active.
But “intellectually,” you can explain away everything. Professor Omar likes the fact that I accept everything he tells me and don’t question him. He asks me if I would like to see a very interesting film about to be shown in the EU-renovating hamam of Al-Quds University. I would love to. The professor and I walk back to the hamam and I find a stone to sit on. Next to me sit a couple of German girls. They 52 are here, they tell me, because they want to help the Palestinian people. I chat with one of the German volunteers.